Is It Time to Jump?

"Living and dying are easy, it's transitions that difficult."

It's a little extreme, but sums things up nicely.  My difficulty with transitions is that once I get to a certain point I just want to let go of one and make the leap to the other.  The problem arises when the other party involved doesn't want to leap in the same direction as me.  We both leap in opposite directions, resulting in one of us falling down, usually me.  Basically, I don't want to get hurt.

If I guard myself against the change, I will protect myself from getting hurt.  Who doesn't want to save themselves from pain that can be avoided.

What if they don't want me?

While it always feels good to be wanted, what if I don't want them, and what if this looks good now, but leads to devastating consequences?  Chocolate cake is like that.  It looks devine, but too much of it is certainly not good for anyone.  That is the problem that I am having right now.  I have had a year of having to adapt, adjust, and accept change.  that doesn't put me in a position of wanting to look for change again.  Too much of a good thing.

So, I have two choices.  I can stay put and try to have some time to calm down and relax, or I can embrace a change, should it come my way.

I hem and haw over choices like this, and even say to family that I can't choose yet because I don't have all of the information, but that's not true.  I will wait to make my choice until the moment it is posed to me, then I will make it through gut instinct in the moment.